Judgement Day

I went into the office Monday morning for my first set of labs after transfer. All levels looked good and I have stayed on the, estradiol three times a day, vivelle dot patch evert three days and 2 cc of progesterone in oil once a day since then. That's not the exciting part. The exciting part is that learned the office protocol has changed. They no longer do the first HCG test 14 days post transfer. Now it's only 10 days. So I go in tomorrow morning for my pregnancy test. Four whole days sooner! I was pretty ecstatic. That meant I only had 7 days left already. I thought it would fly by.

It didn't. It still dragged on and on. I overanalyzed every single little cramp, ( which I had a ton of the first few days following transfer) every little bought of nausea (which I had a ton of all week and spent one night throwing up), and every singe mood swing (which I am still having a ton of). The mood swings I would say are the worse. I'm almost convinced I've developed bipolar disease. It's really THAT bad. Also, I have been alternating positive and negative attitudes each day it seems. One day I am convinced I am pregnant and the next I'm convinced I am starting my period. Today is a positive day. Thankfully. The negative days are hard to get through.

Tomorrow is the day. Last time they called me at the end of the day with good news and a Beta of 1,315. I know I am going to get good news tomorrow too. I also know that at four days sooner my Beta is very likely to be lower. And also last time at that point I had two babies growing that accounted for a Beta that high. I am going to try not to lose all hope if they call and give me a much lower number tomorrow.

Tomorrow, someone is going to be telling me I am pregnant. The next 24 hours will be the most excruciating of the last few months.

Transferred

Wednesday I got the call to be in the IVF office downstate with a full belly and a full bladder at 11:15 for an 11:45 transfer. Considering the snow that was dumped on us over Thursday night. Originally we had had planned to drop our little guy off at grandma and papa's at 9am and head down to our appointment. Instead we had him there and were on the road by 8:30. I am the worlds worst passenger when it comes to driving on snowy roads. I spent the next two hours alternating telling my husband to slow down and complaining that we were going to be late and our embryos were going to die in a test tube waiting for us to get there for them. When I wasn't nagging him, I was staring at my phone willing it not to ring with bad news that our babies didn't survive the the thawing process.

We stopped to grab some McDonald's breakfast on the way, which I knew wasn't a brilliant idea since my lack of a gallbladder has kept me away from that grease pit. We got to the office 40 minutes early and had to wait in the parking lot. Now I had a full bladder and I was also trying not to shit my pants from the McGriddle and hash brown I scarfed down an hour before. My husband finally convinced me to go in and try to poop without letting any urine sneak out. I tried. I failed. Out came a little pee, and out came zero poop. So up we went to the office, me with a full bladder and full rectum. Nothing like a little comfort for a stressful morning. I changed into a gown, and hubby put his gown over his clothes. The nurse then forced me to drink another glass of water even though I ensured her I was full. Then they gave me the magical Valium I couldn't wait to get. I needed a whole bottle by then. She tried to draw my blood for baselines, twice, and then said she would try again later. We walked into the procedure room. They checked my bladder, which was more full than necessary (told ya so) and then called the doctor in. Doctor said both embryos survived and looked pretty just like their mom, and we decided to transfer them both as planned. Speculum was inserted catheter passed through cervix, all while the ultrasound probe was being pushed into my pelvis just to challenge me not to piss in their faces.  Doctor called for the embryos to be brought into the room and then they were flushed through the catheter. And it was over. Just like that. Doctor shook our hands, told us congratulations and gave us a picture of our embryos and one of my uterus with a the tiny bright spot where they were left to fend for themselves. Five minutes later they let me empty my bladder and then put us back in the recovery room to lay flat for 30 minutes. We spent that time comparing our new embryos picture to the embryo pictures from out previous transfer. We decided one looked like a girl and one looked like a boy.  A new nurse came in to draw my blood, which she got on the first try and sent us on our way. 

Bed rest for me for 48 hours and then I'm suppose to take it easy for a week to let those little ones attach themselves into my uterus. My husband has been great waiting on me hand and foot and taking care of our little man. He even baked homemade brownies because I said I was craving them. I will go in Monday morning for blood work to make sure they don't need to adjust any of my medications. Now we just wait the two weeks to be able to take an accurate pregnancy test.

All that's left to do is pray.

Babies A and B. We think A is a boy and B is a girl :)

You Got a Lumpy Butt

I would just like to say that I loathe progesterone injections.

I don't know if you've ever seen progesterone in oil, but I kind of resembles caro syrup. Try putting that into a syringe, stabbing it into your butt cheek and then trying to push that gooey thickness through the pinhole of a needle. It takes forever. And it freaking hurts!

The worst part is the sore lumpy cheeks. After the injection you have to massage the area so lumps of the oil don't form in your muscles. Well, I still have lumps. And bruises. And pain. I told my hubby today that I don't remember it being so painful last time. He said that he does. And he so kindly reminded me that is was nasty and bumpy looking too.

Ahhh, true love.


On the bright side,  I got the call today telling me to be there at 11:15 Friday with a full belly and a full bladder. We are so close!

One step closer

Friday morning I had another round of ultrasound and blood work. It was my day off from work and I thought I was doing great getting to the office at five after eight. It was nothing like that week before. There was a gazillion estrogen fueled biotches in there. I walked in and they all glared at me like they would stab me to death if I got called back before them. I didn't. But, I only waited about 20 minutes. It was a long 20 minutes though. Women stare. Hormonal women stare harder. I get it. I look like I'm sixteen. Maybe. On a good day. Everyone else usually looks like they are pushing 40.  It makes me want to scream "I am almost 27! I have been married for five years! Young people have shit ovaries too! Get over it!" Instead I just try not to let any evidence show that I already have one child, because I'm afraid they might follow me home and kidnap him. Women are crazy, but infertile women at the end of their ropes are even more crazy.

Anyway,  my BFF "J" called me back for my blood draw. She got it on the first try. These women are on their A game this year! Then she joked that I should never come in early for blood draws on Monday because they are all terrible at it after the weekend. She went on and on about how by the end of the day Monday she does much better. She was irritating me as usual and I said you know it's Friday, right? She said yes,  I'm just talking about Monday. Then, awkward silence. J and I have a lot of those moments. We just clash, ok?

She sent me back to the waiting room to wait my turn for ultrasound. B called me back. I've said before, B is my favorite nurse to talk to, but I think she's my least favorite for ultrasound. She's just not that good at it and she really wrenches on a girls vagina. And she always explains what I'm seeing like I'm a moron and then we have the weird moment when I remind her I'm an ultrasound tech and I know what the hell a bladder looks like. She told me she was looking for an endometrium measurement of over 8mm. I was at 10 mm. Perfect fatty lining! Right ovary looked good. Then she spent five minutes searching for my left ovary until I reached down and pushed on my pelvis and it popped into view. I was a little full of poop. It just needed a little shove out of the way. I was getting impatient watching her struggle and I'm pretty sure I was going to need stitches if she searched any more. That one looked good and she sent me on my way to wait for the afternoon instructions after she apologized for taking so long. 

*Side note* I should throw out there that I'm always sweet as pie to these people whether they annoy the piss out of me or not. The future of my family is in these nurses hands. I strongly believe if they don't like you, you don't get pregnant.

Later in the afternoon I got my phone call. Estrogen, progesterone, LH and FSH all looked great and there was no need to come in for any further testing. I am to keep taking estradiol three times daily, wear the vivelle dot patch, start amoxicillin three times a day, and start 2 cc of progesterone in oil injections daily. They will call on Wednesday to tell me what time to be in their office down state on Friday for the transfer. My little baby Blastocysts will be thawed on Friday morning. 

So all has been going well. Very well. This has been so much easier than the fresh cycle. Although, I'm still not sure I could ever do it again. I can't help but worry that the thawing process will not go well and it will all be over just like that. I'm pretty sure if my phone rings at all Friday morning my heart will stop. All I can do is pray that they make it, and I sure am going to spend the next four days doing a lot of it.