Wait! Is that....nope.

I finished my birth control pills on Saturday night. And now I wait for my period to start. No pressure, but they would like it to start by tomorrow so I can come in Wednesday morning for baseline ultrasound and blood work. It's all a big waiting game. And a forcing game. Forcing your body to do things that for some reason it doesn't want to do.

Waiting for your period to start during and IVF/FET cycle is kind of like waiting for your period to start when you don't want to be pregnant. You are tuned into every single little twinge in your body. I have had cramping since the Lupron injection on Wednesday. Today at work while I was trying to pretend to be interested in my patients story about her adorable 50 pound golden retriever, I couldn't help but feel a little twinge in my uterus. I just knew that it was the contraction that was going to flood my panty liner full of blood!! I politely cut dog lady off with a "you don't have a blood clot, now get the hell out of here" and all but knocked a slow old man over on my mad dash to the bath room 6 miles away. I thought about taking my cell phone with me to call the office mid pee and tell them I started! Yay! Not yay. No blood. Damn it. I was so sure this time. It was nothing like the first three times earlier in the day. But then...there was a little speck of blood on the toilet paper. Oh wait, that's just red fuzz. Damn red underwear.  And an hour later I was positive I started because I felt like I peed myself. Rush to bathroom, pull down undies, get out mircroscope...nope. Sweat? Really?! Give me break, I was really swamped today and it was really hot in the exam rooms all day. And I had been sprinting to the bathroom every three minutes.

I'm taking a break from letting these period thoughts consume my life tonight. Maybe go suck some boogies out of a little nose, watch some Bubble Guppies, and enjoy a braless night. I can't let this drive me crazy. Besides, it'll probably start in my sleep. As we speak, my legs and lower back are killing me. That's always a sure sign of period day number one!!