First up was the sonohysterogram. This happened to be my third one, I'm an old pro. They really aren't that bad. Everything looked "perfect". It turns out little man left my uterus in working order during his delivery. So, anatomically, there is nothing holding us back from embryo transfer in a few weeks. I actually heard doctor mutter "that was easy" while he was sliding the catheter into my uterus. I usually would be offended after being called easy, but easy isn't a word thrown loosely around in an IVF lab so I'll take it. In fact, I'm damn proud of my easy cervix.
Next, I was sent in with my least favorite nurse, J. She is always perfectly nice to me, and she was actually the one to call and give me the news that I was pregnant with little man, but for some reason she just rubs me wrong. I can't put my finger on it, but I prefer the other nurses in the office. When she gave me the "big fat positive" (what a positive pregnancy test is commonly referred to in the infertility world) call, she told me congratulations and then said I was really hoping yours would be positive. Umm, ok. As in, there are other women you can't wait to tell their dreams are once again crumbling down around them. Odd. Anyway, she was going to be the one to teach me how to do my Lupron injection since I'm an alumni at self injections. I think I've mentioned before that this is an $800 injection. I only get one chance to get it right. No pressure or anything. So, she explained how to do the injection and took our consents to thaw our two little embryos.
It turns out, because our embryos were frozen at a later stage, they will not be thawed out until the morning of the transfer. J kindly reminded me that it is possible that neither will survive the thawing process and in that case they will call me before we get to the office and there will be no need for us to come in. Thanks, negative Nancy. I had been doing pretty good at thinking all positive thoughts. Now I can't get that scenario out of my mind. It's almost a two hour drive down the main office where all procedures are done and all I can think about not is getting the phone call that we have no surviving embryos so we might as well just turn around and do home empty handed, ugh, empty uterused? Great.
I ended the visit by handing over a major credit card to pay in advance for the embryo transfer I was now certain was never going to happen. Always a pleasure, J.
Wednesday night I got to come home from work and give myself the Lupron injection locked in my bathroom with little man and hubby running around outside the door.
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| This is what a dual chamber Lupron Depot Syringe looks like. Cuddly, huh? |
I had people to feed and butts to change, so there wasn't time for dilly dallying. I carefully and quickly mixed the dual chamber Lupron syringe, swabbed my cheek in a spot I assumed had some muscle somewhere under the fat with alcohol and proceeded to stab myself with the needle. Not painful at all. I must still have a tough butt from all the previous injections from my first go around. Medication went in smoothly, I pulled the needle out, and blood everywhere! Yup, I'm still quite the bleeder. My little white bathroom looked a little like a murder seen. I also knocked the mirror I propped up the toilet so I could see where I was poking over during the process. I held my breath as I watched it fall knowing it would shatter and curse my last chance at a baby. I had made up my mind that I was calling the office and calling it off before it even hit the tiles. But, then it crashed to the ground...and it was still in one piece! Maybe I am lucky after all. Maybe it is part of God's plan to give our little man a sibling, or two. Big fat positive or not, we are already blessed with a beautiful, healthy son. But, I'm not going to let negative Nancy can't get me down. I'm going to start pinning on my secret "second pregnancy board" now because out of all the why would it works, there are just as many why wouldn't it works. No use in walking around all doom and gloom.
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